


Pampered Prankster

by Kittenshift17



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Crack Fic, Drabble, F/M, Fluff, Humour, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:21:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25199185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittenshift17/pseuds/Kittenshift17
Summary: “It’s not what it looks like,” Xander said awkwardly. “Unless it looks like I’m combing his hair. Because then it is what it looks like. But it had to be combed. Because I threw something at him. And messed it up. And he’s gonna eat me if I ever let him out of that chair.”
Relationships: Spike/Buffy Summers
Comments: 6
Kudos: 36





	Pampered Prankster

“Uh…. Xander?” Willow asked as she and Buffy desceneded into the basement where Spike was tied to the red leather chair.

Xander looked up, horrified at the sight of his two best friends when he was in the middle of fixing Spike’s hair for him after losing his temper with the vampire and throwing a glass of milk at his head.

“What are you doing?” Buffy wanted to know, looking intrugued and disgusted in equal measure.

“Oi!” Spike complained. “He’s pampering me. Let him be.”

“Xander, are you feeling okay?” Willow asked, looking even more worried as Xander’s cheeks cut crimson.

“It’s not what it looks like,” Xander said awkwardly. “Unless it looks like I’m combing his hair. Because then it is what it looks like. But it had to be combed. Because I threw something at him. And messed it up. And he’s gonna eat me if I ever let him out of that chair.”

“You’re babbling again, moneky boy,” Spike drawled, deadpan.

“You threw something at him?”

“Here, does my face just scream ‘Hurl a glass of milk at me’?” Spike wanted to know.

“Not really,” Buffy shook her head. “Your face always screams ‘Pound me to a bloody pulp’ whenever I look at it.”

“One day, Slayer,” Spike threatened, baring his teeth at her menacingly even though, neutered with the chip as he currently was, the worst he could likely do to her was growl in her general direction. “And where do you think you’re going? I ain’t done being pampered, whelp.”

Xander looked uncomfortable before moving away and beginning to chatter about whatever was playing on the TV, like changing the subject would make them forget what they’d seen.

“How did you get him to be nice when you’re tied to a chair?” Buffy wanted to know, perching on the edge of Spike’s current prison and smirking when he scowled at her in annoyance. 

“Reminded him that milk rots and stinks when it does. He got it everywhere. Told him I might not be able to rip his throat out, but I could leave twenty galleons of diary in the sun for a month before emptying it all into his bed while he slept.”

Buffy raised one eyebrow.

“Wouldn’t even get a headache if I did it,” Spike said smugly. “Gonna work on my pranking until we figure out a way to get this bloody thing out of my noggin.”

“And _you’re_ supposed to be the Big Bad of Sunnydale?” she scoffed, shaking her head and taking pains to reach over and ruffle up Xander’s handiwork while Spike growled his impotent fury. 


End file.
